Monday, April 20, 2009

Picture Perfect

Yesterday my husband and I did some spring cleaning.  Him more than me.  As I have confessed to before I am the clutter bug in our house.  As I was wafting through a stack of papers he pointed out the dust which had accumulated on our bookshelf.  I keep framed photos on that shelf.  Each shelf tells a story.  Some make me happy, others make me sad, and yet some are bittersweet.  

Besides cleaning the dust he wanted me to change some of the pictures.  He suggested I change them to more recent ones.  Too much of the past he said.  Too many people we have lost.  Although I could see his point I was startled by his idea.  As my eyes scanned each shelf I realized that there were more from the past then the present.  A couple of people I no longer speak with.  My favorites are the ones of he and I, on vacation and others from our wedding.   It was when we were our most happy.  It was before everyone started to die.  

I have always found comfort in photos.  Comfort in the past.  It makes me feel closer to those I have lost at the same time it makes me feel sad.  After my first husband died I spent countless hours over many years sitting on the floor with boxes of photos wet with my tears.  It was how I spent time with him, the memory of him.  It was a comfort until it stopped me from moving forward.  

These days I am feeling stuck in the past.  Too much missing the ones who I have lost.  I can't help but wonder if I should put those pictures away.  Would it make me miss them less?  Would it help me pull my feet out of the mud?

Do you find comfort in pictures?  Does it bring you joy?  Does looking at pictures ever make you feel like you are stuck in the past?  Are yours on display or tucked away for a rainy day?

1 comment:

Breast Cancer Survivor! said...

Hey Cathy! I have pictures on my entertainment center from both the past and current. I enjoy looking at past pictures for example I have a picture of my step-dad, my brother and me on vacation. My brother is probably 4 or 5 in the picture making me around 14 or 15. I like the picture because it takes me back to a time when my family was together and happy and before my Mom got sick(alcohol). I guess I just find it comforting. My most current picture is of my sister in law and me on her wedding day....yeah! I have a sister! Another one I like is of me and my dog Maddy. I'm bald in the picture because I was going through my treatment but I love it because I know Maddy loves me unconditonally hair or no hair. I love pictures and I say keep some from the past and put some more current ones out...mix it up.