Wednesday, October 31, 2007


This is one of my fav pics of Lou and I. It is our wedding picture. We were married on May 31, 2003 which was the 2nd anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. It certainly wasnt planned that way but when I realized the irony I took it on as something I could put a positive spin on and to replace a bad memory with a new happy one.

Anniversaries can be happy and also sad. I have had way too many sad ones in my young life although I try hard each day to focus on the happier ones. I can’t help but wonder why it is that sometimes the sad ones get more attention in our minds. I know that to be true for me.

Today is an anniversary for me. One with a mixture of happy and sad. It is the date of my wedding anniversary to Paul, my first husband who was killed. Today would have been 15 years of marriage. Why do those rounded off numbers always seem like such milestones? We weren’t even married for 2 years. He was killed about a month before our anniversary. There is that word again “anniversary”! Anyway I always think of him on those days as well as many others. I have since stopped wondering about what life would have been like if he had lived. I just tried to focus on what I wanted my life to be.

Just as I was feeling a little down about today I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I found out that an article about breast cancer survivor stories that I was interviewed for was posted. It was written by Kate Taylor for CNN. It is a really wonderful article and I am so glad to have had the opportunity to share my story of survival. As I read the article and saw the picture of Lou and I teared up and yet smiled at the same time. I smiled thinking that somehow today was meant to be the special day that the article was posted. I smiled thinking about Paul and that he must be smiling too from the other side. I truly believe that he has been watching over me all these years during all of the difficult things I have gone through and cheered for me when I have overcome them. I believe that he heard all my little prayers to help give me the strength to go on. I do believe that he had a hand in guiding me down the right path.

I am so grateful that path lead me to Lou…….

Monday, October 29, 2007

Soothing My Soul

Here is a picture from one of my fav places….Ocean Drive in Newport, RI. My home away from home. I am blogging from Newport right at this very moment! I can hear the ocean waves crashing against the shore (a virtual lullaby to me) over the tick ticking of my fingers hitting the keys as I type. My guy and I are staying at a cute little beach cottage along the ocean. Every time we have been here to Newport and driven by the place I have longed to stay here and experience the magic of a room with a view of the ocean. (I will be adding my new photos from this trip to my flickr page so be sure to check back!)

From the seashell path, to the deck with weathered teak wood rockers right up to the dolfin doorknocker they didn’t spare any details. As we walked up the path crunching along the shells I felt like a kid on christmas morning when I caught a glimpse of the beach with the waves crashing along the sandy shore.

It is such a peace that rushes over me when I am in the presence of the ocean. To me it is powerful. To me it is my grounding. It has often been the place I am drawn to in times of trouble. My soul feels connected to it. It is why I feel I could never leave my life near the coast perhaps unless to go to another coast.

A couple of days prior to my mastectomy I drove up here alone and sat right here on ocean drive out on the rocks looking out to the sea. I thought about how endless it seemed. I thought about how my life had once seemed that way. Back then I thought all those possibilities were lost. That my life was lost. These days I still look out at the ocean as I did just a few hours ago and ponder where I want my life to go. I am able to look at things with a clearer mind here. The trick of it is how do I figure out a way to clear my mind without the crystal blue water! Therein lies the dilemma.

As I feel sad about leaving tomorrow to go home I will try as I always do to take a piece of the ocean with me. But this time I hope to figure out how to make it last a little longer than before. I hope I can find that peace of mind on my own.

What have you found to clear your mind, or soothe your soul?

Where are your favorite places that you find peace??

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Crazy, Sexy Tonite!!

Here is a pic of me and Kris Carr taken at her book event in NYC at the Open Center. Could I look more excited! In my last blog I posted about that meeting and today I wanted to remind all you peeps out there to tune in tonite to TLC at 8pm or 11pm for her documentary Crazy, Sexy, Cancer. It is the last time they will be airing it. But not to worry it will be coming out on dvd early next year.

It is an absolute must see! I will be watching again for the 3rd time! Each time I watch I learn something new. Even if you aren’t a cancer chick check it out. It has so many universal messages that can help everyone trying to just get through life!

Be sure to stop back here and share your thoughts!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Crazy, Sexy, Cancer

I have been wanting to gush about this girl for awhile now an don’t know what took me so long! Her name is Kris Carr and she is a cancer survivor who did a documentary about her cancer journey called Crazy, Sexy, Cancer with a book of the same name. She was diagnosed with EHE a very rare cancer that I can’t even spell never mind saying it! At 31 she received the devestating diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. That was 4 years ago! Her cancer is so rare there is really no treatment for it so she took it into her own hands and went on a journey to find her own healing. Cover Image

If you haven’t yet checked the documentary out or read the book you just absolutely have to! Run don’t walk to your local book store and grab a copy. Her story is beyond inspiring! Along this journey she explored alternative/holistic healing as well as spirituality. She has multiple tumors in her lungs and liver that have remained stable which she feels is partially due to all the changes she has made in her nutrition as well as her mind. I believe in alternative health and the connection of the mind and body and its ability to affect our healing. I explored alot of this after my chemo treatments as a way to deal with my fear of recurrence. My attempt to control what was so out of my control.

Her documentary is amazing and her book is chock full of great tips from the trenches for young women going through cancer. There are other stories of great cancer babes going along their own journeys. This is in no way a sad story. It is one young woman’s irreverant account of poking a stick at cancer! It is her journey of how she found her life when she feared her life would end.

You don’t even have to be a cancer survivor to relate to her story and what she learns about life. It can apply to anyone going through all the sh** that life throws at us. There are so many great lessons she shares in her book from nutrition to ridding yourself of that “stinkin thinkin”. Of course there was a happy beginning to her story but I won’t give that secret away. You will just have to find out for yourself!

Recently I had the grand opportunity to meet Kris at a book an event she did at the Open Center in NYC. It was her first Crazy, Sexy, Cancer Boot Camp! She also did a book signing. Meeting her in person was a moment I will never forget. She is such a kind soul, beautiful and glowing! Wow, do I sound like a stalker yet! lol But seriously if you ever get the chance and she is in your area…..try to get to one of her events.

Her documentary will air again on TLC on 10/24. Be sure to catch it! I know I will be watching it yet again! Oh, and she will be on Oprah this monday!! I am beyond excited for her. So be sure to check that out as well! Well, I could certainly go on and on about Kris but I shall stop now. I would love to hear your thoughts when you step into the crazy, sexy, cancer world along with me!

Be sure to stop back here and we can chat about it!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Show The World What's Possible

That is the mantra of Daryn Kagan a former CNN reporter who began her own website last fall to showcase inspiring stories that “show the world what’s possible”. She became frustrated with the lack of good news out there in tv land (aren’t we all), I know I am!

This week she is sharing stories of breast cancer survivors in honor of national breast cancer month. I am one of those featured stories! My story is the video of the day today. I was very excited to be interviewed and to have the opportunity to share my inspiring story! I hope it inspires many of you out there.

So hop on over to her site and check it out!

Do you have an inspiring story of your own to share? I would love to hear it!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Hudson Ohio "In the Pink"

I have so much to catch you guys up on I don’t even know where to begin! I recently had some exciting book events for Breastless. I was invited to Cleveland Ohio where my publisher is at the Cleveland Clinic to do a book discussion/signing at their local Barnes and Noble as well as a reception for cancer survivor authors at a very charming independent bookstore called The Learned’ Owl in Hudson, Ohio. Hudson is a very cute new englandy type town and all of the storefronts were decorated pink for October. My favorite color and it was just about everywhere I looked. When I saw my book in the storefront window I was so excited! And in such good company!


I was very excited to be there and to be able to share my story of survival with others. However there was a little glitch that we didn’t know about till that nite. The baseball playoffs were going on and Cleveland was playing NY! So the turnout was not as expected. The streets were too quiet for a beautiful Friday nite in downtown Hudson. Leave it to sports! Although there weren’t many people stopping by I did meet some great people and gave some good advice to a woman who didn’t know what to do to help a friend of hers going through breast cancer at only 28. I provided her with some resources including Im Too Young For This! as well as a great book written by Kris Carr called Crazy, Sexy, Cancer Tips which I will blog about in a separate entry cause I have too many exciting things to say about it! So stay tuned for that coming up later in the week! I was tickled to be only a few books away from hers in the storefront!!

I also met another cancer survivor author who was quite an inspiration. She is a survivor of a very rare cancer called leiomyosarcoma and was treated 25 years ago with a drug that is commonly used for breast cancer called Adriamycin or otherwise known as “the red devil”. I had 4 treatments with that and am all too familiar with its potential to cause heart damage. Well, this powerhouse of a lady was treated with it back when it was not even FDA approved and was one of 200 people trying the drug for the first time. To make a long story short, she made it through her treatments, beat cancer, but 7 years ago need a new heart due to the damage sustained from the Adriamycin. As I listened to her story I was so amazed at her spunk, her ability to survive and how happy she looked. I wondered what the hell my problem was that I ever get upset about the little things anymore! I know I can’t be that hard on myself cause nobody is perfect but still…it really was yet another reality check for me. I was so honored to have met her and will probably never forget her. Truly an inspiration!

So for me it was all about taking in the moment. Breathing it all in. It wasn’t about the people that weren’t there, it was about the few that did show up. Even if I can make a difference in just one person’s life that is what matters. I was very grateful to be there for those evenings and I found out what nice people there are out west! Because lets face it….NYers can be tough! I speak as a pure bred NYer myself! But I think it is just a different lifestyle out here that makes us that way. I am glad to have spent a couple of days just taking it all in…..just slowing down a bit…..cause I don’t want to miss any of it……

Do you find the time to breathe and take in your own moments?

Monday, October 8, 2007

Dating With Breast Cancer

That is the title of an article I was recently interviewed for which is posted on Lifetime TV’s website and was written by Lisa Daily .
As you know my story is about my experience dating with breast cancer.
I was very excited to be included in this article. Lisa was fun to talk to and made it a great experience. I feel it is a very important issue facing young single women with breast cancer that I don’t feel is addressed often enough if at all. I was able to share many of my crazy dating experiences and the different reactions I got from men I was dating when I shared my diagnosis. Most importantly I was able to share with her the happy beginning to my story! She even included my wedding photo in her article!

This article came about to coincide with the premiere of a new Lifetime movie airing this month of breast cancer awareness that will focus just on that issue. Click here to find out more! It is based on the true story of a young woman who has a mastectomy and continues to date through it all. Sound familiar? I am sure there are so many of you out there that can relate to this story as I can. Way too many of us unfortunately!
I plan on checking out the premiere. Hope you will too. Then we can discuss our thoughts right here!